Saltburn: Why? Just why?

It’s here, the most awaited film of the year 2023’s review. I present to you ladies and gentlemen, Saltburn. This movie stands in the hallmark of all the weirdest films I’ve watched. It's top ten at the very least. 

If you do plan on watching this film, I truly hope it is for amusement because it is so horrible that it cannot be taken seriously. The director tried so hard to be quirky with this one, but let’s be honest: This film is more of an embarrassment than anything else. 

Let’s start off with our lovely characters. Oliver is trying so hard to be rich and is also secretly in love with his rich friend Felix for both his money and also maybe because its Jacob Elordi. Felix’s mother, is one of those women entirely bored with their lives, longing for some sort of new excitement or toy which is exactly what Oliver turns into for her. Venetia, Felix’s sister is a self-conscious, puke-it-all, girl who turns into a toy for Oliver’s sexual manipulation.

Carey Mulligan gives an incredible performance, which is cut short as the director quickly pushes her out. What I saw when I saw Barry Keoghan, however, was an actor doing his goddamn best to give a good performance in a role that’s frankly made to humiliate. While the film tries to play the homo-erotic angle, likely to gain some liberal activist viewers, it just comes off a bit rapey, honestly if I were Felix I’d be filing multiple restraining orders here. 

What was the director trying to do here? Some commentary on the rich? On the ambitious? Was it some psychological nonsense where she tried to make the film hard to interpret and have some incredible significance that viewers can’t figure out because you know it's meant to be “mysterious” like that? God knows. I just hope she doesn’t waste producers’ money like this again, God do I really feel bad for those suckers because the only good thing about this film is its soundtrack.