Old: I aged 2 hours just watching this

So, where do I even start? The idea behind it is super intriguing. Basically, a family goes on vacation to this secret beach, where they start aging really fast. The kids become teens in hours, people’s health issues catch up with them—there’s a lot that could go right with this setup. The first act even had me hooked, minus some of the cringey dialogue. But then, it just kind of…falls apart. It’s like they had this cool idea but didn’t really know where to take it.

Halfway through, I realized the story wasn’t building up to anything. The mystery of the beach just hangs over the whole movie, but they don’t dig deep enough for you to actually care about what’s going on. The dialogue is rough throughout. Sure, the actors are supposed to act like they’re still kids, but the lines are either way too cheesy or just don’t fit the characters at all.

Then there are these plot holes that are just too big to ignore. Like, they say hair and nails don’t grow on the beach because those cells are dead, right? Then why do all the dead bodies decompose at warp speed? And let’s talk about how two 6-year-olds somehow piece together a word puzzle and decide to swim through a coral reef to escape. Really? Or how about major abdominal surgery with a knife, and everyone’s just…fine? Oh, and 72 previous groups went missing, and no one ever questioned it?

The actors? Not bad at all—they’re actually talented! I just think the direction here made them come off as awkward. Way too many scenes of people just staring blankly. Plus, the camera angles are trying *so* hard to create suspense but just end up feeling forced. It’s like Shyamalan’s going for tension, but it feels more like he’s just trying to be artsy without a purpose.

At the end of the day, Old has a few decent scenes (one with an elderly couple and dementia was actually touching), and the concept itself is interesting. But it’s all buried under messy writing, weird directing choices, and so many random plot holes. If someone else had taken this idea and run with it, maybe we’d have something special. Instead, we got…this.